Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
