I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
