she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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