My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
