just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
