omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
