I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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