I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
