im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
