You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
