if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
