Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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