I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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