i think my tv is drunk
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
