After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
this beer tastes like vomit already
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
