Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
