I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
