my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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