the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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