His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
