So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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