dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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