I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
