We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
