I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
