I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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