where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
