Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
