yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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