doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
