the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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