fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
