fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
