last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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