My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
