You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
