hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
