Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
