Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
