How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
