is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
handjob tips. give me some.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
