I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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