I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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