I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
