how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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