she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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