Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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