He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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