rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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