It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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