If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
