waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
whose parrot is this?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
