The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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