Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
